Finding my true place

Sometimes in life you get to a point where you just aren't sure where your place is. What I mean is, you are doing everything that you normally do and it becomes an everyday ho hum type of thing. You get to the point where you wonder if there is anything else for you in your life ahead. Well, common sense tells me that there is but my life has felt almost complacent recently. So I started reading some books to help me think about the roles that I have now as a wife and mother. These roles are so important to society but yet they often get pushed aside for the spot light roles of the world. I don't care about being popular, on tv, or even being told I'm the greatest person that ever lived on the planet (which I assure you I'm not ). I am interested in being the best wife and mother that I can possibly be. Sure I've looked into different paths for my life over the course of the last 10 years but God has led me on this path that I take and I'm a better person for it.
I've just become complacent in my life and the way I look at things. So I'm reading the controversial book about how to be a good helpmeet to your husband. Some people do not like this book, but I find that it has helped me to see that my attitude towards God, my husband, and even my children needs to change. I had gotten to the point that when my husband would talk to me about anything, his voice would just become annoying to me. That's not a good place to be I tell you. You don't want to be at a place where your husband or wife is getting on your nerves just by telling you something on their heart. This is what happened to me and I needed an attitude check.
Over the last 10 years I haven't become a great musician or some famous actor or a grand teacher in our wonderful public school system, but I have become someone who will have a great influence on the children of our society. My children are taught at home because of our convictions on the matter and I have the opportunity to shape their lives. This is a BIG task and one of grave importance. I can make or break my children during these years. I also have the great opportunity of being a preachers wife. God calls certain special ladies to be a preachers wife. God knows who can handle it. There is a lot of pressure being in the spotlight so much. Everyone looks to you to see if you are laughing at one of your husband's jokes before they do. When your husband does preach, you are the one he goes to to find out how he did, if you thought that his message was clear. You have to find the right words lest to make him feel really bad, which is not what you want to do. You have the be the ultimate example before other ladies in the church when it come to submission and respect towards your husband. One slip and you will hear it through the grapevine.
My life sometimes feels like a spinning wheel out of control. During the holiday months, it is especially difficult. I know however that God means for my attitude to be right towards him, my husband, my children, and others. I must have that meek and quiet spirit that the Bible talks about. Sometimes I talk too much and it gets me into trouble, but sometimes you can say what really needs to be said with as much humility as possible and you'll still get into trouble. People just don't understand, but I know that God will help me to change in such a way that is beneficial to my family. It's all about God and them. My life as a homeschool, stay at home mom, preacher's wife is one that I will cherish for the rest of my life if my attitude stay where it needs to.
So I know where God wants me to be right now. I just need to stay on that path.

Jenn